The Cage
by Disappearing Pucca
Summary: Lucy is finally back after a five year disappearance, Fairy Tail wants to know where's she been and Lucy would rather tear out her tongue before she speaks of it. It's gonna be a long road to recovery for Lucy but she's got her friends by her side to help her through it.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One:** Homecoming

The day that Lucy disappeared was like any other day. There was nothing that signaled that today would be different, there was no ominous flash of lightening when she left the guild and there was nothing in Cana's cards that told them something would go horribly wrong. Team Natsu had stayed behind for this particular mission because the mission Lucy had chosen was only for rent and there wasn't enough jewels in the reward to split between two people, let alone 4. So Lucy had gone alone. No one was particularly worried, the request was simple enough. Somebody from a town over needed a mage who could help her clear out some rather troublesome pests that were eating all of her cabbages. And even if it _wasn't_ simple, everyone had faith in Lucy's ability to take care of herself. It shouldn't have take more than a day, maybe two if the person had under sold on just how many creatures there were so they didn't have to pay so much.

So a day passed. Than another. Than three days and they still weren't very worried, knowing Lucy she had probably gotten sidetracked by a book or a spa or something. Than five days passed, than a week and Team Natsu was dispatched to go and find her. According to everyone they met, they told them that the mission ran a day late. In all it took Lucy two days to deal with the pests but an extra day to deal with a small but deadly gang that had taken residence in the small town and was forcing everyone to pay protection money from them. But she had gotten paid (for both the official and unofficial job) and they all saw her make her way through the town gates and to Magnolia. Natsu, Gray, and Erza were stumped, where could Lucy have gone? As they were taking another lap around the outside perimeter of the town, Natsu caught on to the faint and quickly disappearing scent of Lucy. The team followed the scent to the edge of a ravine, there were fallen trees, scorch marks, and deep gouges in the Earth that told them that a fight had recently happened there. A big one. Lucy's scent was all over the fighting ground, and hanging onto a branch Erza found her keys.

It's been five years since then, or rather 4 years, 9 months, and 27 days but who was counting right? During the first year of her disappearance Fairy Tail tore up Magnolia and any neighboring villages and towns trying to find her. They hired the best magic and non magic trackers. And search parties were sent out daily to no avail. It was like Lucy had just disappeared off the face of the earth. During her second year, search parties were cut down to bi weekly things. During her third year monthly, and during her fourth year they still looked for as hard as ever but only every few months. Fairy Tail never lost hope that they would get back their blonde guildmate though. That was the one thing Fairy Tail never lost. Hope. Every time there was a rumor of a girl that looked vaguely like Lucy, talked like her, breathed like her, fought like her it sent the guild into a frenzy trying to find her. But each lead only lead to a dead end.

"Do you think she's still alive?" Gray asked, unusually quiet. Than again, the entire guild was. Had been the day they found out Lucy was missing. Over the years they had started to retain their liveliness, their partying and recklessness but it was like with Lisanna. It would take time to heal this wound, if it ever healed at all.

"Of course she is! She wouldn't just leave without saying goodbye! She's too strong, anything that tries to kill her will get it's ass kicked a thousand fold!" Natsu yelled, as heated as ever. Though he sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than those around him.

"Juvia is going on a quest now," Juvia said to the group, though her eyes were focused on Gray. The man in question just quirked an eyebrow and nodded in her direction. Blink and you would have missed the soft smile he sent her way. They weren't a couple but they were a _thing_ , having started it a year after Lucy's disappearance. Lucy going missing had...set things in perspective to say the least.

"Stay safe Juvia," Wendy said sweetly, the little crease between her eyebrow showing her worry. Erza stayed silent but nodded in agreement. The blue haired woman smiled and started towards the door, but it opened before she could reach it.

"Lu-" Juvia's eyes went wide at the blonde, slim figure silhouetted in the guild doors.

The figure's pink lips curved up into a tiny smile, big brown eyes hazy. "Juvia." She murmured before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she started swaying.

"Lucy!" Juvia yelled, loud enough that everybody's attention was caught and their heads swung to the front of the guild. The water mage ran forward, catching the woman in her arms before she could fall to the ground. "Lucy! Lucy!"

There was no mistaking the celestial mage, her blonde hair was dirty and limp and matted, and she looked to have lost at least 50 pounds, and gained a layer of dirt and blood but it was her. It was _Lucy_.

"Someone get Porlyusica!" Erza ordered, snapping to her senses as she stood up. Everyone scrambled to do as she ordered. "Someone get a bed and a bucket of water! We're gonna need new clothes, food, and a bed for when Lucy wakes up. Someone find out where the hell she came from and what happened _now_!"

While everyone ran around to do as she said, Erza stared at Lucy worriedly. The blonde was cradled gently in Natsu's arm as their team crowded around her unconscious form. Erza touched Lucy's forehead gently, staring at her slack face. "Please wake up soon."

* * *

" _We had a deal!" The blonde was angry, her brown eyes alight with fire and her entire body was tense. "I fight and nobody dies!"_

" _Sorry but the deals off bitch," the man grunted, a malicious look on his face as he stares down at her. He hated her, hated everyone in the damn Pen but they made him and the rest of his crew good money. Still, he hated this girl-the one everyone called_ Star _-the most because he knew that if it came down to it no one could beat her in a hand to hand fight. That was why whenever they dealt with her, everyone had a shock stick. The last person to deal with her without one ended up with a broken femur and missing his ear. He knows what she's capable of but it still surprises him every time. Like her speed, you wouldn't think she was fast. She was too skinny and too malnourished but she was though. She was_ fast _. In a blink, she struck and grabbed the army knife strapped to his belt. She didn't hold the threaten his life or any of the other guard's lives though._

 _She held the knife up to her throat, jaw set and eyes determined. "Deals back on. Unless you want to lose your biggest cash cow._ Bitch _."_

* * *

Lucy's eyes opened slowly, a small moan escaping her lips.

"Guys! She's awake!" Natsu yelled, Lucy opened her eyes to find Natsu's face directly in front of her.

"What the fuck!" Lucy yelped, reacting on instinct and punching Natsu off her.

"Shit Lucy, what the fuck did you do that for?!" Natsu complained, rubbing his cheek. It was red and already starting to swell. Fuck, was Lucy's punch ever that strong? Her kicks usually were but not her punches.

"Maybe next time you shouldn't-whoa," Lucy's vision went double for a moment as the room around her seemed to spin. She looked around, realizing that she wasn't dreaming. "Wh-where am I?"

"You're in Fairy Tail's infirmary. Porlyusica just finished healing you," Erza explained, biting her bottom lip and deciding to not mention the look in the medic's eyes as she examined their previously missing comrade. It was fear and suspicion, something she would never have thought she'd see in Porlyusica's eyes. Especially not directed at Lucy.

"Forget that, where have you been Lucy?" Natsu demanded, jumping to his feet and asking the question on everybody's mind. His eyes were intense, grabbing the bed railing and leaning in close to her face. "You've been missing for _five years_ Lucy. We tore up all of Fiore looking for you, so where were you?"

"I don't..." Lucy suddenly seemed to shrink in on herself, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She tilted her head forward so they couldn't see the fear on her face with her blonde hair covering her face. She choked out. "I don't want to-"

"What are you doing bothering my patient! All you stinking humans are getting in the way of her healing! Out! Out! Out of you brats get out!" Porlyusica yelled, barging in with a broom in her hand and chasing everyone out. When everyone was gone and the room had quieted down again she leaned her broom against the wall, walking over to Lucy. "We have a lot to talk about."

"I don't want to talk about-" Lucy whispered, as her limbs slowly untangled themselves.

"Who said you were the one talking?!" The Medic said loudly, making Lucy jump and stare up at her with wide eyes. She scowled, "I'm going to talk and you're going to listen and answer my question. Got it? Got it?" Porlyusica asked again when Lucy didn't answer. The blonde nodded hurriedly. "Alright, now you got a lot injuries over the years girl. You've fractured your collarbone in three different places, broken your leg twice, and your arm four times. None of those times have any of your limbs set properly. And that's not even including the damage to your ribs, some are years older. Going all the way back to Phantom if I'm right-" Lucy's eyes got wider and she shook her head, begging the pink haired woman not to say anything to the others "-but I won't tell the others anything, let alone the extent of the damage Gajeel really did to you. Frankly I'm surprised your ribs haven't just popped out and pierced your heart."

"I know more first aid than most," Lucy tried for a joke with a weak grin.

Porlyusica kept going like Lucy had never talked, "And your heads and feet...that's where the real damage is. Judging by your bruises and injuries I would have to guess that you've been fighting these last five years haven't you?"

Her red eyes focused intently on Lucy as the girl slowly raised her eyes to meet her head on. Her pink lips parted, the words gliding past her tongue not what the healer expected. "Do you know any good therapists Porlyusica?"

Silence reigned between them for a good while, red eyes meeting brown and either backing down for a moment. Finally, Porlyusica's eyes slid closed as she sighed sufferingly. "I supposed it's none of my business and I should just be grateful you're not as hardheaded as the rest of these idiots and know when to ask for help."

"Something like that," Lucy said with a small smile, her eyes falling to the white bed sheet and distracted. Her ears were still ringing with the sound of fists meeting flesh and the sound of blood thirsty cheers. "So do you?"

"There's a person living in the middle of town, on Golden Street. Her name's Kira and she's one of the best, helped me adjust to Earthland when I first came." Porlyusica nodded, scribbling something on a piece of paper and hand it to Lucy. Lucy took it tenderly. "She doesn't take walk ins but show this to her and she'll be available whenever you need her to."

"Thank you," Lucy whispered, tears pooling in her eyes as she stared at the piece of paper. It was finally starting to sink in, she was home and she was safe and it was over. It was all over. Tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks, dripping onto the infirmary sheets. "It's over. It's all over."

Porlyusica watched the girl cry with a bittersweet smile on her face, she hoped it would be over for her. She was still so young but she had gone through so much. However, something told the old woman that it was far from over. That it had just begun.

* * *

 **Hey guys, so it's been a hot minute since I've posted anything and truth be told this story has been bouncing in my head for at least a year but only just recently have I been able to 'finish' it. I've already written the technical ending and the chapters leading up to it but if anyone wants to beta it for me you'll be a real life savior! As always: favorite, follow, and review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:** A New Old Lucy

" _I'll kill you," the brunette spat out at the blonde. Blood is leaking out the corner of his mouth. The blonde just stares back him through bored brown eyes. His face is full of bruises and cuts, some from her fists but most are from being shoved repeatedly against the ground. His pride is hurt, she should've killed him. Snapped his neck, bashed his face in, choke him until his eyes rolled back and he pissed his pants as death took him. She hadn't done any of that, instead she slammed his head against the ground repeatedly until he passed out. He came to in the Pen, bandaged and alive with the winner standing over him with unreadable eyes._

 _She leaned forward, grabbing his collar and smiling through a teeth full of bloodthirsty cruelness, "Than_ do it _. Don't just pussyfoot around like a baby, Crystal."_

 _The blonde shoves him back as she lets go of his clothing. The man stares at her, scared. Who was this woman? She was nothing like the person he had trained the last year and a half to fight, to_ kill _. No, that woman had been kind even through all the pain and horror. This woman was cold and she didn't just invite death, she_ kissed _it. For the first time in the 4 years he's been here Crystal is scared. Scared of the very girl he had trained because he was bored and, the blood thirsty, narcissistic bastard he is, had wanted someone who would be_ challenge _in the Cage. He didn't know who this girl was and judging by his crushing defeat at her hands, she could've easily taken his life but chose not to. That scared him the most._

* * *

Lucy's fingers danced lightly over the keys sitting on the bed table beside her, a nostalgic smile on her face and feeling something akin to regret and loneliness swelling deep within her gut. Leo had come to visit her earlier, when she had first come into the same vicinity of the keys, but he had disappeared just as quick when he caught the look on her face. Terribly afraid and terribly sad. Lucy wanted to summon them, summon all of them all at once and get them to tell her everything that's happened since she's been gone, everything that she had missed. But she was even more afraid of it, doing it would mean accepting everything that had happened, that it wasn't just some big nightmare. That it had been true. Every single bloody fight and every single horrible thing she had to do to survive.

Lucy looked up, everyone had cleaned her up. She was covered in bandages but her face was relatively free of any cloth. Her reflection was staring back at her from the window beside her bed. She turned her head this way and that way. She wondered if the others noticed the changes, not the obvious ones like how gaunt her cheeks looked now or the rather large scar she had just under the left side of her jaw bone or even the fact that she was missing two teeth and several more were chipped. She was talking about the tiny scar above her brow, the way her eyes automatically sized up anyone walking through the door, the calluses on her hands, the way her limbs would tense up whenever something loud and sudden happened, or the scarring on her knuckles. Before each of her movements and reactions had been over exaggerated, a way of garnering attention. Something she had learned as a kid, trying to capture and keep her unfeeling, sometimes cruel father's attention. Now her movements were quieter, more subtle. You couldn't win when you practically telegraphed every single move to your opponent. That was the first thing Crystal had beaten into her, or rather out she supposed.

Her hair was too long, reaching all the way to her mid back and the fringe was no longer fringe. She grabbed one of the golden keys, carefully unhooking it with reverent and shaking fingers. She could feel her magic power pulsing deep within her but it was no longer what it was. Lucy hadn't used her magic in almost five years, couldn't even if she wanted to. In that time, her magic container had shrunken by a lot, she wondered if she would even be able to open summon one of her Zodiac spirits at all. She took a deep breath, fingers tightening around the gold key. _Here goes nothing._

"Gate the Crab, I open thee. Cancer!" She whispered quietly but full of conviction. For a moment nothing happened, than her magic pulsed and there was a bright light that filled every corner of the room. Tears sprung to her eyes when Cancer's form appeared when the light died down. Already she could feel the strain taking it's toll on her, she could hold open the gate for only 30 minutes, 40 if she really stretched her limits but not more than that. Five years ago she could've held one open for hours on top of hours, maybe even a couple of weeks if she conserved her magic. Lucy hated it. She had always loved her magic above all else. It made sense in a way, a fair trade off. Her magic prowess for physical prowess.

"Cancer," she breathed, rushing forward and wrapping her arms around the Spirit's waist. "I've missed you."

"We've...missed you too Lucy...ebi," Cancer said slowly, his voice wobbling like he was trying to not cry. "We're sorry we weren't there for you. We... _I_...am so sorry for what you had to go though."

"Never mind that," Lucy sniffed, wiping her tears. She pulled away from the man even though she wouldn't have minded hugging him longer. "I need you to give me a trim. I can't-deal with this hair cut anymore. But I don't want something old either, I'm not that girl anymore. I don't think I ever will be. I need a fresh start."

Cancer nodded, moving behind her and touching her hair softly as he got to work snipping away at her blonde tresses. Lucy closed her eyes, listening to the quiet _snip snip_ of scissors going through her hair and the familiar feel of Cancer's nimble fingers brushing the back of her neck. If she focused Lucy could pretend like this was five years ago and just a normal monthly trim from her friend. It wasn't though and no matter how much she wished it was, it wasn't.

"Done...ebi," Cancer said stepping away from her. Lucy opened her eyes and saw her new hair. It was shorter now, only just brushing her shoulders. All she had to do was tilt her head forward a bit and the hair would come rushing forward to hide her head like a curtain, the bangs were basically nonexistent. It was still limp and dry and, for all intents and purposes, ugly. Well, that's what happened when you barely washed your hair for five years. "I also took the liberty of taking away all those little pests nesting in your hair Lucy. I can't change how bad your hair is though, you'll have to stick to a strict hair care regimen if you want your hair to be how it was...ebi."

Lucy touched her hair, smiling when she realized she didn't feel any lice or ticks crawling over her scalp or over the rest of her body. "Thank you Cancer, you can return now."

"You're very welcome...ebi," Cancer looked like he wanted to say more but thought better and he disappeared in another flash of light. Lucy ran her fingers through her dry and tough hair, feeling lighter and better than she had in years. New hair cut. New person. If only.

* * *

It's been two months since Lucy's returned and the guild gone back to normal. They're louder and more rambunctious than ever, getting into the silliest troubles and destroying personal and public property without worry about the consequence. And for all intents and purposes so has Lucy. She laughs, drinks, talk, and argues with the rest of the guild but those closest to her know that she isn't the same. Her smiles don't quite reach her eyes, her laughter seems forced, and she looks like she needs to force herself to pay attention to any topic at hand. At first Natsu and everyone else thought it was over where she would live. During those seven years on Tenrou island, her father had kept up on every payment but these last five years, as much as the guild tried they ended up falling behind and the landlady had no choice but to rent it out. She was currently staying in a bed and breakfast near the guild, she had no money and no way to even come close to affording the rent at Fairy Hill. The bed and breakfast (officially called the Red Carpet) was run down and creaky as hell, part of the reason why the rent was so cheap. Mice and other non animal vermin made their home there was the other reason, at the very least it had clean running water (her current place was aptly named Death's Door by it's residents) and that was all Lucy had been looking for. She had been staying there for a month so that couldn't have been it.

"Lucy! Come on this mission with me," Natsu yelled, slapping down a piece of paper in front of her. Lucy flinched at the sudden noise, everyone pretended to not notice. They had been doing that alot lately, pretending to not notice how Lucy was tense all the time, pretending to not notice how distracted Lucy's been, pretending to notice how every time there was a bar fight she was conveniently missing. Lucy stopped her conversation with Levi and turned to look at the piece of paper curiously.

 _Needed: 2-4 battle ready mages to run out bandits that have taken over the town of Kerona. As far as we know there are only about 20 people but at least 5 of them are mages with varying degrees of power._

 _Reward: 400,000 jewels_

"Well Lucy? With this type of money you'll be able to move out of that shitty dump and still have enough for whatever it you buy," Natsu said with his trademark toothy grin.

"No thanks Natsu, I already have my eye on another request," Lucy said, sliding the piece of paper back towards him. That was another thing too, Lucy never went on _violent_ missions anymore. If there was any chance of fighting than she would automatically excuse herself. She hadn't been exactly _bloodthirsty_ before but she never turned down a mission purely because a fight would be called for.

"That's too bad Lucy, we were looking forward to going on a mission with you," Erza said sadly, hoping the tone of her voice and her brown eyes would persuade Lucy to come on this mission with them.

Lucy blinked, than a wide smile spread across her face. She said cheerfully, "Well why didn't you just say so?! You guys can come on my mission with me! It's not all that exciting but the pay's way better than this!"

"Sounds interesting, what's the mission?" Gray asked, leaning forward and cradling his chin in the palm of his hand. Lucy resisted the urge to point out that he had somehow managed to lose both his shirt and pants in the ten minutes he had sat down.

"There was a recent flood a couple of towns over and they need some help cleaning up, rebuilding, stuff like that." Lucy shrugged. She took the paper out of her pocket and unfolded it on the table. "The reward's pretty good because it's a mining town and everybody in town is offering up something. It's almost a million jewels."

"What?! That's amazing! How come someone hasn't snatched it up yet?" Gray grabbed the paper with wide eyes and Wendy looking at it over his shoulder.

"Well Fairy Tail's the only guild that's gotten the offer so far. Apparently, Macau helped out the town a couple of years ago and our guild sort of has-special benefits I guess," Lucy laughed quietly. "That and it's a month long relief mission, if not longer. Nothing exciting will happen besides a bunch of lumber falling on someone probably. Not really Fairy Tail's kind of thing."

"Was anyone hurt in the flood?" Wendy asked, brown eyes wide and pleading.

"I don't think so," Lucy said slowly, trying to remember what she had read in the newspaper last week. "They managed to evacuate everyone in time but a lot of the medicines and equipment were swept away in the flood. It'll be good to have you come along in case someone comes down with something serious that can't be cured because they don't have the right equipment."

"Oh, okay!" The Dragon Slayer smiled brightly. Carla rolled her eyes affectionately.

"You guys don't have to go, I'm sure I can handle it on my own," Lucy said. It would pass a lot quicker with them though, she was still working on her magical power so she wouldn't be able to summon her spirits to help out. Two months and it still wasn't close to what it used to be, Lucy was starting to worry that it would never be again. _Patience Lucy, patience._ It wasn't just her years of not using magic holding her back, it was also her fear too. What if she did summon her spirits to fight? Than what? She didn't want to have to rely on them to fight for her while she provided support or a diversion. She didn't want to have to ever rely on anyone again. She would rather die. "But with all of us it should only take a two weeks, maybe less if Natsu can stop himself from destroying public property."

"Hey! Ice Princess destroys more property than I ever do!" Natsu argued, whipping his head around to glare at Gray.

"Oh yeah? Says the guy that accidentally destroyed half a stretch of road, fire for brains!"

"Didn't you freeze an entire tavern stripper?" Natsu growled, eyes narrowing and shoving his head against Gray's.

Gray shoved back as he yelled, "And it would have thawed unlike that city block you blew-"

"Enough!" Erza yelled, popping up between them and uppercutting them both with enough force that they flew halfway across the guild. Erza sat down calmly like she hadn't just knocked out two of the most powerful mages in Fairy Tail. "We would love to go on this mission with you Lucy, and whoever else wants to go with."

"Really? That's great!" Lucy cheered, clapping her hands together and her face lighting up. "The town is putting us up in a local hotel along with taking care of our room and board so just bring your clothes and a snack for the three hour train ride! We'll leave at noon tomorrow!"

She grabbed the piece of paper and jumped to her feet, taking a quick headcount of how many people wanted to go on the mission before skipping to where Mirajane was. After a quick exchange, Mirajane approved the mission and Lucy gave her teammates a thumbs up. She left the guild moments later, letting Wendy and Erza explain to Natsu and Gray about what had been decided.

* * *

"So Lucy, why are you here?" Kira wasn't at all what Lucy expected her to be. She expected someone at least as old as Porlyusica and with the same stern face and attitude to deal with someone so canterkous. She was old but not the in the way Lucy expected. Her lined face looked more warm and kind, grandmotherly than anything else. The kind of face that made her grandkids cookies warm out of the oven and read them fantastic bedtime stories. She had her salt and pepper hair pulled back into loose bun and warm green eyes that made Lucy want to simultaneously spill her guts and crawl next to her for a nap and never wake up. Lucy blinked, then scowled.

"Can we turn that off first?" Lucy asked, her hand gesturing towards the incense lacrima across from her. Kira had told her when she first came in that the Lacrima emitted a scent that relaxed her client but she would turn it off whenever Lucy wanted her too. The old woman nodded and reached over, turning it off with a simple tap on the top of the crystal. Lucy's shoulders relaxed, she hated being under any kind of influence. It dulled her reflexes and made her paranoid. She played with her fingers in her lap, unsure. Lucy took a deep breath, the best place to start was by answering her question right? Besides, the faster she got this over with the faster she could get back to her normal life right? "I did these sessions-" Lucy used two of her fingers to gesture between them, meaning therapy sessions "-on the boat ride back to Fiore. I met with the guy everyday for two weeks, there wasn't exactly much to do on the boat. And I was really reluctant at first, what's the point right? I mean, all I'm doing is drudging up memories I would so much rather forget, that's not healing. That's...being stuck in the past. But than he said something to me, he told me that I would never _heal_ -" she almost spat out the word "-unless I accept what happened and try to move on. So that's what I'm doing, trying to accept and move on."

 _It doesn't sound like you're trying to accept it, sounds more like you're trying to move on but without the healing._ Kira thought but didn't say it aloud. Instead she said, "Can you start from the beginning. I got the basics from Porlyusica but all she really gave me was some injuries."

"Right, start at the beginning. That's what all the good stories start with right?" Lucy asked rhetorically. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, not used to how short it was. She rubbed her knuckles across her shorts. "I took a job about 5 years ago, it was easy enough even with me running the bandits out of town without any backup." Lucy take a deep breath, it was hard to talk about even even with more than a couple of sessions under her belt. "They ambushed me. I was already low on magical power from the fight just a couple of hours before with the bandits and I wasn't prepared. At all. It's almost embarrassing how easy it was for them to take me down. I managed to take out five of their guys but there were at least 10 others. I was careless and one of them managed to slip behind me and chloroform me. I woke up chained on a boat without my whip and keys, I thought it was some kind of sex trafficking ring or something like that. I wasn't even close, not at first anymore." Lucy closed her eyes, that was something she had to do. Her voice gradually got quieter as she talked but she didn't stop. She had learned from her earlier sessions that if she didn't get it all out now, she never would.

So for the next two hours Lucy talked all about the underground, illegal fight ring she had been forced to take participation in. How her first five matches she had won only out of pure luck. The first one, the girl was even more scared than her and could barely get her legs to move in time. Lucy only won because the girl tripped over her own legs and smashed her head in on the way down. The cartilage of her nose breaking and slipping into her brain membrane.

The second, Lucy had won because the guy was a bloodthirsty buffoon with more arrogance than even Laxus. Lucy had knocked him on his ass and wrapped her slender fingers around his thick neck, she hadn't realized just how long she had been choking him until the light went out of his eyes.

The third, the guy was already bleeding massively from internal wounds. He died within five minutes of stepping into the ring. After that, the ring Masters always made sure their fighters didn't sustain life ending injuries without getting it treated. Anything other than life threatening and you were still forced to fight.

The fourth was nothing _but_ pure luck. She (Lucy didn't know her name, only that her stage name was _Grin_ because of the bloodthirsty smile on her face after she won a match) wasn't one of the newer fighters, and somewhat skilled at hand to hand but not as much as Lucy. Lucy had always been better at dodging, using her natural flexibility and instincts to narrowly escape attacks but she had picked up thing or two after having been at Fairy Tail for so long. She didn't know that the woman suffered from osteoporosis, it was still in the early stages but one well aimed, and hard kick and her ribs had broke, piercing her heart in the process.

The fifth had been against another newbie, this one had pissed her off so much she saw red. She pushed him into the ground, grabbing the back of his head and slamming him face first into the ground over and over again until she saw gray matter.

Lucy had paused briefly after that, her hands shaking in her lap as her eyes glazed over with the memories. Kira had asked her if she wanted to stop, Lucy shook her head no. She took another deep breath and barrelled forward.

She talked of the condition, the place they were forced to fight was called the The Cage by both prisoner and entertainees alike. The place where the fighters were forced to stay was called the Pen because they were treated no better than cattle. Worse, because at least cattle had some notion of freedom. They ate, slept, and shit in that place. Inside the Cage they were animals fighting to the death for the chance to live, inside the Pen they were reluctant comrades forced together in a foxhole surrounded by enemies. The only thing stopping them from outright killing each other was knowing they would likely have their chance one way or another, and the deep wariness of fighting and violence they all felt in their bones. All except for the few sadistic sons of bitches that thrived off it.

 _Why did no one try to escape?_

 _Because there was no way too, they kept at least two guards stationed at every exit and entrance. The entire place literally took place underground and from what we could tell even the people who paid to see these matches didn't know the way out. They were always escorted blindfolded into and out of the place. The ones who were caught were killed instantly, those were the lucky ones. The ones who weren't, their remains were found usually a couple of weeks later. They died from dehydration and starvation. The guards all carried shock sticks or guns, we didn't have anything. Mages were useless because the entire place was filled with magic cancelling runes. Not to mention we trusted each other about as far as we could throw each other. And even if we could lead a revolt where would we go? We had no idea where we were and most of us were from overseas. These guys ran the criminal network, we would be found and dragged back within weeks if not days._

Lucy talked of her mentor, he was one of those cruel sadistic sons of bitches who got off on winning and killing. She talked about how he was afforded special _accommodations_ because he was so loyal and such a big crowd pleaser by the Ring Masters- _that's what we called them,_ Lucy said quietly-if the crowd wanted quick and bloody he gave them quick and bloody. If the crowd wanted slow and painful, he took it up a notch and made his opponent scream for minutes on end before finally snapping their neck. She talked about how he chose her because he could see her _potential_ , and that all she needed was some honing to become one of the best knives in the set. ( _It sickened her, even now, to be compared to a steak knife)._ For a year and a half (or Lucy thought it was a year and a half, time never seemed to pass in that place) he trained her mercilessly, cruelly and in the most horrific ways. If she showed a single weakness he would beat her within an inch of her life, if she didn't catch up as fast as he wanted he would volunteer her for the next fight. She killed him in the ring when he threatened to kill one of the newest fighters, a nine year old boy. Than she killed the other top fighters, asserted herself as top fighter and decided enough was enough. No more killing. She wouldn't kill in any of her fights, no one would kill in any of their fights again. At first the Ring Masters laughed in her face, pointed a gun and was ready to shoot when she told them all the reasons why it was even better than their previous system.

Lucy had killed all their top fighters, anyone else would be easy pickings and the crowd would get bored if they killed her off. Than where would their money go?

The Ring Masters wouldn't have to abduct so many people so frequently, it would draw less attention to what they were doing.

Her final reason was her best, who _didn't_ love a good old _grudge match?_

(The Ring Masters lowered their guns, than one grinned menacingly. _On one condition_ they had said.

 _What?_ Lucy had asked, tense.

 _You give private shows whenever we want and to_ whoever _we want,_ the men grinned and the way their eyes dragged down her body made it obvious what they meant.

 _No,_ Lucy had denied right away, vehemently.

 _Than I guess Karma's gotta do it. She's a tight young thing isn't she?_

 _She's only_ fourteen _you bastards,_ Lucy whispered gutturally, her eyes shining with hatred.

 _So do we have a deal?_ They did.)

 _What was his name? This teacher of yours?_

 _I don't know, we didn't use real names there. I don't know if it was because the Ring Masters didn't let us, something used to strip us of our humanity and rights, or because everyone was afraid of admitting this was their life now. That by using stage names we could all just pretend it was some horrible nightmare. I only knew him as Crystal._

 _What was your name?_

 _Star. For how my eyes used to shine when I first fought. Like stars filled with hatred. Stupid I know but I didn't choose it._

 _I think that's all for today, come see me again when you get back from your mission._

Lucy nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:** The Mission

"I'm never going on another train again," Natsu groaned, looking a little bit more like himself but still pale.

"You still saying that Natsu?" Lucy giggled, dressed warmly in a pair of jeans, a thick jacket, and a pair of furry boots. Only Wendy was dressed for the weather, everyone else had just gone with what they wore normally. She rolled her eyes affectionately on the inside. Snow wasn't likely in this part of Fiore but the chilling wind had a bite to it. The Celestial Mage took a deep breath, enjoying the way the cold air burned her lungs. The air in the Cage was stale and unfiltered, smelling of dirt and blood and other things she would rather not think of. Out here it was cold and fresh and reassured her that this wasn't just a dream. That Lucy would wake up by a kick to the ribs because it was her turn to fight.

"Natsu will never change you know this," Erza rolled her eyes as she eyed him in case he puked on her boots. They were new and the last thing Erza needed was whatever Natsu had for dinner last night on them.

"I don't know what I was expecting," Lucy laughed, smiling so wide her cheeks hurt. It was so good to know that even when five years had passed her friends hadn't changed. Well...that wasn't entirely true, Lucy thought. Her eyes passing over each and every member of her team (including Wendy) and taking in how much they had physically changed over the past five years. The changes were subtle but they were there, Natsu's hair was a little longer now and was more droopy than spiky. His white pants were longer, and the material seemed to be different too. His signature scarf was still there, he had grown a couple of inches and his voice had dropped an octave.

Gray was most the same way, he had traded in his rarely worn white coat for a light gray one (despite the fact that he kept losing it anyway) he had always been just a hair taller than Natsu but now they were the exact same height, his hair was shorter than she had last seen it. Lucy wondered idly if that was Juvia's influence or a just sign of his growing up. And his voice (which had always been pretty deep) was even lower than Natsu's.

Erza had changed the least, her hair had streaks of dark orange tangled in her scarlet tresses Lucy didn't remember being there and she kept a broad sword strapped to her hip. Besides that there was no visible changes that Lucy had seen.

Her eyes wondered to Wendy, she had changed the most but that shouldn't have surprised her. Over the past five years Wendy has matured, she hadn't grown (just shot up about two inches) but her face had lost it's baby fat and it was more angular now. Her brown eyes were still large and innocent but it was all the more alluring for it. Her blue hair only feel to her forearm rather than her waist and was put into a braid. Lucy smiled softly, she was growing into a beautiful woman. What happened to the 12 year old she first met? Apparently replaced by a 19 year old mage.

 _Wow I'm old,_ Lucy laughed inside her head. She was only 24 but she felt so much older than that. Her bones creaked for crying out loud! But that might just because of the number of times they had been dislocated.

"What's so funny Lucy?" Wendy asked, staring up at Lucy with curious eyes.

"Nothing Wendy, don't worry about it," Lucy smiled, reaching out and ruffling her hair. Wendy just pouted and straightened out her hair, secretly thrilled that Lucy was even _here_ to do that. The younger mage had missed Lucy so much, she loved her guild members but Lucy had one of the first to make her feel welcome. She was like her big sister, and in a guild full of combat types it was nice to find someone else who kept being pulled into life threatening situations without their consent or knowledge. When Lucy had disappeared, Wendy had been _devastated_ , locking herself in her room and crying for a week straight. Not even Carla could talk her out of her funk. Finally, it had been Levy who got her out of her own head, by reminding her the last thing Lucy would ever want was people shedding tears because of her.

"We're here!" Natsu yelled, running ahead of the group and straight for the entrance of the village. Her team quickly ran after him. Wendy and Lucy exchanged a look and started after them, laughing.

Really though. It was like nothing had changed.

Two hours later, Lucy had her jacket off and draped over a chair in the mess hall, and sweat dripping down face. Suddenly she was very glad for cold. The girl straightened up and stretched, hearing her back crack in several places. Than she tied her hair up and started sorting through the rubble again. Her back ached and her arms were quivering as she tried to lift up the wall by herself but it was the good kind of ache. The kind of ache that said she was helping someone rather than hurting them.

 _The crowd cheered loudly, so loud it drowned out even the thumping of her heart in her chest. Her opponent was on the side of the ring and she was just a kid really, couldn't be more than 14._

" _Kill!"_

" _Kill!"_

" _Kill!"_

"Lucy!" Natsu's voice startled her enough that she dropped the section of the wall she was trying to overturn, only barely managing to get out of being crushed.

"What the hell Natsu! You can't just scare someone ehnt they're holding up a fucking wall! I could have been crushed!"

"But you weren't," Natsu rolled his eyes, honestly Lucy was so dramatic. Still...he glanced at the wall then back at Lucy. Without her jacket, Natsu could see that there was a good amount of muscles on Lucy. Lucy was in no way weak, physically or otherwise, but she wasn't in _this_ kind of shape five years ago. Natsu had always believed that Lucy was stronger than she believed herself to be, that the only thing holding herself back was...well... _herself_. Than again, not everybody could be as awesome as him.

"Not the fucking point," Lucy scowled, before reaching down and flipping over the wall, unaware of Natsu's searching gaze. "Natsu hand me the bag."

The pink haired boy propped open the bag and she put soaked photo album in the bag. Lucy sighed, looking around the ruins of the house. It had been nice once, Lucy could tell. Light blue walls and tiled floor, children had lived here once if the smashed toys on the floor were any indication. Maybe it would be a nice place to live again one day. "Let's move on to the next house, I already checked every room. There's nothing here."

They were going from street to street, checking the debris to make sure there really weren't any casualties and if they found some priceless trinkets? All the better. It would take all day but then after they would start on the actual cleaning up process.

"This is so boring," Natsu griped, crossing his arms and pouting.

"You didn't have to come along," Lucy rolled her eyes as she picked her way out of the house carefully. The flood had destroyed half the house and weakened the structural integrity of the other half, one wrong move and the entire thing could come crashing down on her. She grabbed his scarf and dragged him across the street to their next house when he suddenly stopped, nose up in the air and taking a deep inhale.

"What is it?" Lucy asked, just as still as him. The wind started picking up and goose pimples rose on her flesh, despite her sweat. She looked at the sky nervously, Lucy suddenly had a very bad feeling.

The grin crossing Natsu's face didn't ease her bad feeling. "Finally, something interesting. Bandits, they're approaching the village and fast."

"What the hell do bandits even smell like?" Lucy huffed, not too worried. He could have been wrong or they were just passing through.

"Like bandits."

"That explains nothing! Come on, we gotta go tell Erza and the townspeople, in case the bandits decide it's a good idea to stop here while they're still recovering from a flood," Lucy looked grim. She grabbed Natsu's scarf again and started dragging him to where the temporary base was. He made a very undignified noise before finally catching up and yanking the scarf out of her hold. "Are you sure they're heading for the village? Not gonna take a detour or something?"

Natsu nodded, looking just as serious as Lucy. "We're close to the gate, if we go now we can stop them. I'll tell Happy to go and get Erza and Gray."

Lucy nodded, "I'll meet you at the gates, I wanna do some recon. See how many there are and their strengths."

"Be careful," Natsu said, hesitant to leave Lucy after just getting her back but she was gone before he could say anything.

It wasn't that Lucy doubted Natsu, she just _really_ hoped he was wrong. Lucy didn't want to fight, she didn't like fighting before the Cage and she liked it even less after. If there was a bandit attack that would mean she had to fight, she couldn't just stand back and let her friends handle it. That had never been her style.

But she didn't _want_ to fight. Even the thought of her time in the Cage paralyzed her, what would happen when she had to fight with her fists? At her current state, there was no way she could open one of the Zodiac keys and keep it up in a fight. She would be lucky if she could even get Cancer to snip _one_ of the guys.

" _Shit_ ," Lucy muttered, ducking behind the wall surrounding the city as she caught sight of the bandits. They were little more than a speck on the horizon but like Natsu said, they were gaining fast. At the speed they were going it would take them 10 minutes, probably less.

 _I'm still so_ weak, Lucy gritted her teeth and punched the ground next to her. Her knuckles throbbed dully but she took no notice of them. _Always gotta be saved. Always gotta be the damsel. Can't ever take care of my fucking self._

Why couldn't she be _strong_? Like Natsu or Erza or Gray? Why did she have to be such a _weakling_?

 _Complaining isn't gonna get you anywhere girlie,_ Crystal's voice reverberated in her ears. _You really want to be strong? Show them what you can do. Only the strong can pay in blood-_

She punched the ground again, the pain making Crystal's voice fade from her head. As much as she hated to admit it, Crystal had a point. Complaining would do nothing. Action would. She fingered her keys at her side, hoping she would have enough magical power to take them all out before she passed out. Sagittarius was a good choice, he was an archer and he could take on multiple moving targets from a long range. Hopefully she had enough magical power for all the arrows needed. Lucy unhooked Sagittarius' ring from her key chain, taking a deep breath and digging deep inside her for her magical power.

Just as she was started to glow, someone grabbed her from behind and broke her concentration. Lucy acted on complete instinct, her mind going white and thoughtless. She bit down on the stranger's hand and tasted blood, jerking her head back and smacking up under his chin. The man screamed and staggered back, dark eyes angry and mouth hissing out curses as he held his bleeding hand close to his chest.

Lucy didn't let him have a moment of reprieve as she launched herself at him, the man tried to duck out of the way but he was too slow. She caught him around the waist and took him down, grabbing his face and smashing it onto the ground until his head lulled back. Unconscious.

Thought filtered through the white noise in her head just in time for her to be grabbed from behind again.

 _Shit_ , Lucy cursed. This guy must've been sent ahead to scout and when he didn't return, the guys got suspicious. There two people holding on to her, she stepped on the foot of one and elbowed the other in the face. She spun out of their hold, feeling adrenaline pumping its way through her veins. Her brown eyes took in her attackers, she was outnumbered 5 to 1 but she had dealt with worse. And if the way they held themselves was any indications, they didn't know how to fight.

"Leave this town," Lucy snarled, fists balling at her sides and eyes darting every which way as she attempted to keep an eye on all five adversaries at once. "Now."

"Make us," the obvious leader said, his nose starting to swell and purple. His pride was hurt and he would pay her back in blood.

"Your skins," Lucy growled, brown eyes bright with a bloodlust she didn't know she felt.

Than they attacked.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:** Old Friend. New Person.

"We've gotta hurry, I smelled at least 5 people and they were armed. Heavily," Natsu said Erza, Gray, and Wendy ran beside him. They screeched to a stop in shock at the scene before them.

Lucy was currently fighting the leader of the bandits while the bodies of his underlings were strwen out on the ground beside them.

"Are they-" Cara gasped, looking horrified.

"No they're alive-barely," Wendy reassured the cat but looking anxious herself.

"They won't be for much longer if we don't get them medical attention," Erza said grimly, stepping up. "You guys gather them up and get them medical attention. I'll help Lucy."

"They're the enemy Erza!" Natsu growled, smoke starting to curl from his hands. He kept casting anxious glances at where Lucy was trading blows with the man. Lucy was bruised and she seemed to bleeding from a head wound but her opponent looked even worse. Natsu could smell the fear coming off him in waves, he couldn't smell anything like that from Lucy.

"And we're still Fairy Tail you idiot," Gray glared at Natsu. "We don't just let people because they're our enemies! Not if we can help it. Do you think we're some kind of dark guild, _idiot_."

The dragon slayer gritted his teeth, glaring back at Gray. "I bet you I can get there before you stripper."

"Lucy no!" Gray and Natsu's head whipped around at the sound of Erza's voice. She had been running towards them but it was too late. Natsu couldn't quite understand what was happening, everything slowed for him. Carla covered Wendy's eyes and Erza was a split second too slow for once. One moment, Lucy had one hand on her opponent's jaw and the other on the back of his head. The next, he was on his knees, his head bent at a strange and unnatural angle. Then, he fell to the ground, eyes empty and dead.

Lucy looked up at the shout and for a moment Natsu didn't recognize his best friend. The look in her eyes was as dead as the corpse at her feet and as cold as Gray's ice. This wasn't Lucy, this was someone else all together.

Than the light faded from her eyes and horror filled her face. She stared at her hands, starting to shake. Her friends too stunned to do anything but stare. "No. No. No. _Nonononononono_. Not again."

Her words and her breathing was starting to come out faster, her eyes looking up at her friends and there was a wild look in her eyes. " _Nononononononononononono_."

"Lucy," Erza said, keeping her voice gentle and careful to not look at the body on the ground. _Oh God_ , Erza thought equal parts scared and horrified. _Is he really dead? Did Lucy really kill him?_

"I-I didn't want to kill him," her words hiccuped and stuttered out of her, tears welling up in her eyes. She held her hands up uselessly in front of her. "I-I saw red and I didn't…"

"It's okay Lucy," Erza said gently, hugging Lucy tightly in her arms. Her tears spilled over and she buried her face in Erza's shoulder. The armor was uncomfortable but she was glad for it. She didn't deserve comfort right now. The older mage said seriously, "We'll fix this."

Night had fallen and Lucy was still in shock over what had happened. They had sent Wendy and the exceeds to check on the townspeople and the bandits. They also didn't want Wendy to see Lucy like this, Wendy might have been 19 now and more than capable of taking care of herself but they still saw her as their sweet 12 year old little sister.

"What do we do?" Gray asked, keeping his voice low and every now and then his dark eyes strayed over to where Lucy was. She huddled in a corner of their large tent, a blanket wrapped around her despite also wearing her coat, and staring at the ground blankly. She didn't seem to be able to hear anything, Gray wondered if they were to start yelling would she even notice?

"I don't know," Erza said and that frustrated her. This wasn't something that could be solved with fists or a sword, Lucy was trapped in her own head and the only person who could help Lucy was Lucy.

"What's even _wrong_ with her?" Natsu scowled, his voice rising and falling to a stage whisper at Erza's piercing glare.

"Most like? Those five years she was gone. Something big must have happened to her."

"I don't know if you've noticed but Lucy isn't exactly very talkative about what happened," Gray crossed his arms over his bare chest. These last two months, plenty of people had tried to get her to open up and no one had succeeded, she diverted their attention or the redirected the conversation with so much ease no one realized what she was doing until she had already left.

"She _killed_ someone," the words forced themselves through Natsu's teeth, still unable to believe it. The picture he had of Lucy suddenly didn't fit anymore, it was like each and every puzzle piece of that made up _Lucy_ in his head, was replaced by pieces that didn't quite fit with each other. The edges and teeth not fitting into their old spots.

"It could have been self defense," though Erza knew different. The man had losing and _badly_ , Lucy had dragged on the fight for much longer than she needed too.

"Where's Wendy?" They turned around to see Lucy standing in the middle of the tent, blanket draped over the chair she had previously been sitting in. "I need to talk to her."

"She's in the infirmary, keeping an eye on the bandits," Erza answered, wanting to say something but unsure what.

Lucy nodded, heading for the entrance.

"Whoa, where do you think _you're_ going?" Gray asked, him and Natsu blocking her path. "You're in pretty bad shape Lucy, Wendy used all of her magic healing the bandits so she hasn't been able to heal you just yet."

"I'm fine," Lucy waved away his concern, there was a dull ache in her hands and a throbbing that told her, her ribs were bruised. It didn't hurt to breathe all that much so she couldn't have broken anything. It was like she suspected, the guys weren't fighters. They were used to ambushing their prey, scaring them into handing over their valuables. No actual fighting needed.

"No you're not Lucy," Natsu snapped, looking angrier than he ever had at Lucy. "You might have gotten off better than those bastards but you're still hurt Lucy. You're bleeding, you're in shock from killing someone for the first-"

"It's not my first," Lucy cut him off, eyes going wide at what she said. She hadn't meant to tell them that, she hadn't meant to tell them _anything_.

" _What?_ " Natsu asked quietly, the entire tent deathly silent.

"Nothing," Lucy's teeth clacked together with an audible _snap_. "Get out of my way."

She tried to go around the two boys- _men now_ , Lucy thought distantly-but Natsu grabbed her arm tightly. His hand was warm and only getting warmer. He leaned in and growled, "What are you talking about Lucy?"

"I said _nothing_ ," Lucy growled back, trying to yank her arm out of his grasp but to no avail. He was stronger than her with his dragon slayer magic enhancing his strength. "Let me go Natsu. _Now_."

"Not until you tell me what the hell you're talking about," the look on his face was thunderous.

"Fine," Lucy spat, her face just as dark and anger rolling through her veins. She reared back her other hand and punched Natsu in the face before any of them could react. She jumped back, as he made a strangled noise and let go of her arm. "Don't _fucking_ grab me."

"Lucy that was uncalled for," Erza said, shocked. That sudden burst of violence was expected of Fairy Tail mages but not for Lucy. Lucy would rather talk it out than settle it with her fists like Nastu or Gray or her.

"No, grabbing me was uncalled for," Lucy snarled, her anger subsiding enough for guilt to eek in. Shit, what was she _thinking_? That was just it wasn't it? She _hadn't_ been thinking, all she knew was that Natsu had grabbed her and Lucy had saw red.

"You broke my fucking nose!" Natsu yelled, holding on to his nose and snapping it back into position with a sickening _crack!_ He glared at Lucy, ready to lay into her when he saw the dark red print on her arm. "Did I do that?"

"It's fine Natsu don't worry about it," all the anger and fight went out of her. Her shoulders slumped and suddenly she looked so much younger.

"I'm-I'm so sorry Lucy," guilt clawed at his gut. It was one thing to hurt your friends in a bar brawl, it was another to hurt them in a situation like _this_. In a fight, you knew what you were getting into, this was...this was… " _I am so sorry_."

"It doesn't hurt Natsu," Lucy shook her head again. "The heat from your hands makes it look worse than it really is."

She sat down back in her chair, Natsu nodding but the sickened look still on his face. "Listen...guys. There's a lot I can't say about what happened to me. I'm just not ready, I'm dealing with it and facing it but I'm not ready to talk about it. I won't be for a long time, I think."

She drew her knees up to her chest and hugged them, looking infinitesimally more fragile.

"We understand," Erza said, her hand slapping over both Natsu's and Gray's. And they did to something extent, but none more than Erza. "But-" she walked over to Lucy, kneeling in front of the younger mage. A soft look in her eyes, "-you should know that we're here for you. Through everything and anything."

"Thanks," Lucy smiled, grabbing Erza's hand and looking up as Natsu and Gray's shadow fell over her. They both nodded and Lucy's smile got a little wider.

The nightmare was over and she would be okay. Maybe today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe even not next year but she would be okay. She had her friends, she had her life back, and no one was gonna hurt her ever again.

* * *

 **Last chapter! Hope guys liked and I'm super proud because this is my first finished multichaptered story!**


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